Around 11 that night she woke up to nurse and I touched her head and she was burning up. This was the first time she ever had a fever and I instantly woke Rob up and we turned on the lights to see if I could see anything. She didn't appear to be sick and she didn't appear to be in pain except for her being hungry so I nursed her back to sleep. The morning was about the same, nothing really out of the ordinary except for a fever. I called her Dr and they told me to bring her in and so I did. They looked in her ears, nose, mouth (as much as she would allow) and saw nothing. They did a physical check and nothing seemed amiss. They told me she was fine. Um, fine? My baby had a fever and she is fine? I am not exactly sure what I wanted from her PD except to make it go away. He wrote me an RX and sent me on my way. I went home a little baffled because something was obviously wrong as babies just didn't get fever for no reason. I researched for what seemed like days and couldn't find anything that told me what was wrong with her. But I did find that fevers are not bad, not bad at all. They are in fact good as it is a sign that their body is doing what it needs to do-fight whatever infection is trying to invade her body. Okay, I can live with that I guess. So I started reading on what I could do as a nursing mom to help her body fight. I learned quickly that it was all about the immune system. While I was learning on how to keep her as healthy as body or at least help her body to fight, her body seemed to be losing. A secondary symptom emerged and of course, I went to the dr again. They asked me if I gave her the antibiotic. Um, no. We exchanged some pleasant words but it kept going back to them not knowing what the infection was or if it was bacterial or viral. Well, if it might be viral then why were they giving me an antibiotic but at this time I really believed that my PD knew what they were talking about and since my baby was not improving then it must be bacterial. So I filled the RX. Rob brought it home and I looked up the RX on the internet and was amazed at all the infections (bacterial) that it would take care of. Boy, this must be some amazing stuff! But as I continued to read I also discovered that the list of "do not take if' list was pretty long. Do not take if breastfeeding as it may harm the baby. Say what? If it could harm the baby then what the heck was I doing giving it to my baby. So I waited. The next morning I took her in because she had a 103 temp and while she was nursing well, she seemed overly tired and she couldn't breathe well. While I thought this was a new symptom it was more likely that her body was tired of fighting the infection for 3 that her body needed sleep. But at this point I couldn't see that as all I could see is that she was sick and needed help. The inability to catch her breath and mucous filled airways scared me. Her PD said that it could turn into pneumonia or worse. So, I gave her one dose of the RX and I watched her like a hawk. Nothing happened, nothing good nor bad. I wasn't sure what I was looking for I just knew I had to watch. It actually seemed like it was getting worse. Morning of Day 4 our PD put her on a nebulizer and another RX for breathing treatments. 3-6 times a day we had to put the RX into the machine and let the air go right into her lungs. It was so difficult watching her lie there listlessly. Her PD recommended tylenol for the pain so being a mom who trusted the PD I gave it to her around the clock for almost 2 days straight. I was also giving her the antibiotic. Nothing was changing. Nothing. I started freaking out. Doubting that I should have given her the antibiotic earlier, like the day it was prescribed, I mean, who was I doubting a PD?? Throughout the 7 days I learned much about the body including the immune system and the use of antibiotics and even drugs like motrin, tylenol, and other OTC drugs.
She ended up getting better (praise God indeed) and I started feeling guilty after all the 'crap' that I loaded into her body. Sadly, I had written everything down and I read it over and over and became so depressed, disgusted, and saddened that I intervened in what was probably just a cold that could have worked itself out. I will never know if it was viral or bacterial and although I have finally forgiven myself for intervening I made sure that this experience will teach me for the future.
